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Posted by / 18-Apr-2016 11:09

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One friend accused me of undermining the struggle of the black gay community by even considering to date a white woman, least of all marrying her. Because the truth is more people are staring at me than her; I married up.My name has slowly been removed from several invite lists. There are people in this world that will tolerate you on their terms. If ever I wanted to dispel this moment with a bout of sweeping self-confidence, I can always depend on a customer service rep. White gym-bodied men that feel their sweat and "Gold's gym" t-shirt gives them the right to hit on my wife in front of me.I seriously doubt that it is the #1 issue among any people, white or black. "You absorb the light; I reflect it." It's a joke my wife recently made after several failed attempts at taking an "usie" outdoors while the sun shined down on us. "There are good black women out there you know," she says to me.

“The black middle class lives in an environment where a majority of the people are white,” said Fábio Chaves, a blogger who runs the site Black Men and Women With a Lot of Pride.The 2010 census in Brazil showed that out of all the women over 50 who had never had a spouse, a majority of them were “pretas,” a term commonly used to refer to dark-skinned black women.It’s also obvious to all Brazilians that once black Brazilian men attain a certain social status, they choose white women as their life partners.“But unless the dark girl is the boy’s cultural or economic superior, chances are they will never wed.Black and mulatto men marry white women to improve social status.” Sadly, not much has changed in Brazil some five decades later.

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But I think we simply stopped pretending when I married Rebecca.